Alien: Romulus (2024)

I saw it on an airplane and the airplane was broken, so it started from the last 10 minutes, for which I wrote: "An endlessly repeated manufactured action drama, the two main characters almost dying dozens of times over a few minutes. Bewildering lack of suspense as it refuses to even take 20 seconds to breathe between alien attacks. Someone has a bloody explosive alien birth. Nobody can act worth a damn. An alien-human slenderman hybrid with frog holes in his back licks his mom with a sea anemone tongue. The main girl's ghostbusters proton pack jams, so she has to suck slenderman and herself into space. We've already had 5 mega-dramatic climactic musical overtures."

Then I realized the airplane was broken, and restarted: "A street-smart young woman, Rain, taking care of her simple cyborg brother who can only tell dad jokes and wander off. They are indentured servants on a space colony where it's always dark and everyone is cruel. Looks like they recruited the whole cast at a college party. They team up with a ragtag group of space station looters to go steal some cryo chambers, but the station is full of xenomorph spawn and everyone's gotta die."

Then I fell asleep. Awful in any order.