Highlander (1986)

Connor MacLeod (Christopher Lambert, known for such films as… err… Highlander) sword fights with a flipping businessman ninja in the car park under a modern-day NYC wrestling match, chops off his head, and absorbs his electric charge like Kirby.

Then he flashes back to the bonnie, bonnie hills of Loch Lomond (actually Eilean Donan), where he was once a great warrior of the highlands until a guy in a Lord of the Rings skull helmet gut-stabbed him with a longsword and declared there can be only one. He recovers unnaturally quickly from a longsword gut-stab, prompting his village to accuse him of witchcraft and cast him out. He pisses off into the countryside and finds a nice little castle, horse, lassie, and a couple of heilan coos to call his own.

His peace doesn't last long, as the Spaniard – an aptly cast Sean Connery, later determined to be an Egyptian – rides in and it cuts badly to MacLeod being struck by lightning. Sean stupidly tells him it's "the quickening" (also the name of the stupid sequel). Sean also informs him that he's immortal and that there can be only one. For some reason or another, this is the plot of Mortal Kombat (also starring Christopher Lambert!), and all of the immortals have to fight to the death.

Back in modern day, there's a police investigation into MacLeod because he left some antique sword bits in the car park, but the lady cop-slash-metallurgist spots him battling the immortal skull lord in an alley and thinks maybe something is up. The skull lord slinks around the shady back alleys of New York, kirby-sucking the electricity out of lesser immortals.

There's a long montage while good guy Connery teaches MacLeod how to be a good immortal, and they go for horsey rides and long walks on the beach. Sean tells him that their homoerotic strolls on the beach are also "the quickening."

All good things must come to an end. While MacLeod is out feeding the coos or whatever, the skull lord breaks into his castle, sucks the lightning out of his boyfriend, and knocks his castle down. MacLeod doesn't age, but sticks around the highland hills while his girlfriend and coos die of old age, and then wanders the earth insulting Germans and Englishmen and becoming an art collector.

MacLeod and cop-metallurgist become friends. He tells her he's immortal and stabs himself in the heart to prove it, and she immediately has sex with him. Then he goes upstairs to have a quick sword fight with the skull lord on the roof, kirby-sucks his electricity, becomes a mortal, and replays several of the Sean Connery scenes again while a Sean Connery voiceover patiently explains to us that this is a happy ending. Any ending would be a happy ending, as long as the film ends.

This is a "Scottish" movie about Scots, directed by an Australian, written by an American, produced by Americans, starring a Frenchman and a bunch of Americans. The only Scottish actor was cast to play the role of an Egyptian pretending to be a Spaniard.