Orgy of the Dead (1965)

An awful film transition fades in to an extremely awkward narrator delivering a terrible introduction right to the camera, and then it cuts to a still frame of a gold-painted naked woman for the credits, followed by a severely underexposed scene of a car driving through the desert. The people in the car say some real dumb bullshit, and are among the worst actors I've ever encountered. The girl says "not so fast." It then cuts to her saying… "not so fast." They crash, but unfortunately don't die.

The narrator is back, reading dumb poetry badly. He's dressed like a fat vampire in a wrinkled polyester cape. He gestures stupidly and an Elvira knock-off struts around the graveyard with her arms out dumbly. A topless girl dances badly around a bonfire while bad music plays. No reason is provided for why this is happening, and it unfortunately continues for several minutes. When she finishes, another girl comes out and does the same dumb thing.

The car crash dummies say dumb things while a third topless girl comes out for some crap dancing. This consumes a full half hour before they sprinkle some gold on her and she becomes the dead golden girl from Goldfinger. The dead kids from the car haven't taken more than 4 steps in this time.

The car kids get caught by a Wolfman, who screams "woooo-aaaah!" and forces them to watch a girl with her breasts hanging out of a cat leotard get whipped. This whole movie is a fate worse than death.

Skipping ahead, there's a topless girl dancing, then a different topless girl dancing, and then I see a topless girl dancing. Elvira goes to stab the car kids, but the sun comes out and everyone turns to bones. Oh no. It was written by Ed Wood, and it really shows.